Journeys of one mom

This morning in my personal time with God, I started out by praying.  My journal entry was "I'm struggling to manage my pain which means I'm struggling to not have a short temper.  God please change this in me..."  I feel grief when I don't do right! I started my day in repentance!  As I did this, I began to think about our country. About the people of "America."  The land of the free and the home of the brave... A people who once founded this nation under God and now a people who carry this nation far from God!  It saddens me.  Really truly, it sickens me.  I'm forced to wonder if I, I like many other God fearing, God loving people, feel this, what does our God feel?  Our Father? Our King?  Our provider?? I began reading my Bible with this on my heart and today I read in Ezekiel 24.  It's amazing to me how God ties His word into what He is pressing on your heart!  In verse 13 & 14 it says this: "Now your impurity is ...

We have been trying to establish new routines.  We have always done the kids devotions at night just before bed. However, that's been really difficult as they are always so tired.  So, today, we put them right after breakfast!  We started with prayer requests and then praying for each other. Then we moved into our Bible time.  As I listened to prayer requests and praises, my heart was so pleased!  These truly are the moments to cherish!  For instance, Joey said "I want to thank God that I love my mommy so much."  And then Abby says "I want to thank God for all the ways He has blessed us and for a family who loves each other."  It's in those moments that all fears that your parenting is all wrong begins to fade and you realize that you have bad days or bad moments but some where in there you MUST be doing something right!  It just made me smile!  For our Bible study, we read 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and ...

When we were little, we had excited expectations!  We couldn't wait for our birthday party, we couldn't wait for the next sleep over, there were things across the board that we had excited expectations about!  We had our hopes up!  We expected that what was coming was going to be the best ever! As adults, we lose some of that.  We are tainted by life and we have less and less "expectation" of things because we are often consumed by the details... Lately, I have lost my expectation.  I don't often bring medical here to my blog, but I will today.  It's my reality right now and much of what I'm walking through.  Kind of why I have been a quiet blogger.  Just last night, I sat at my kitchen table after an emotional evening.  Jeff (my husband) had just gotten home from work and I laid out my evening and my feelings through many tears.  He reminded me of something... he reminded me what we stand for.  What we believe.  He shook...

Sunday, I took sister to church.  The boys just weren't ready plus daddy had to work.  So, he kept them home.  I was reluctant to go because I have just had so much "stuff" going on inside of me.  I walk into worship service and I have an asthma flair that made me have to leave.  Finally get it settled and I go back in to worship.  I couldn't sing but I just stood there with my eyes closed. Kind of goes along with the "shhh" moment I have felt God telling me!  I had to be quiet.  This song, "I need you more" was being sung by the worship team and I just felt this flood of God's presence as I cried out the words in my heart!  I do need him more.  More than ever before!  This life has brought so much hard junk and heart ache in the last month or two that I just have felt as though I was drowning.  When you let go of the baggage, you begin to float... as you float, you can see the light above you!  The water's deep right ...

Well, I have heard God say a lot more here lately "Shhh!"  Seriously God?  Don't you know you made me a motor mouth and I don't like that word!  But, it's true, he continues... I've been asking God for wisdom, asking Him to show me the direction I am to be going and how to help my family grow in Him more.  In that, He has used the scripture over and over... Be still and know that I am God.  As I have managed to get more and more quiet I am beginning to see things and hear Him!  Ever heard the line "Stop and smell the roses..." I think that's where I am.  God wants me to see what's around me. What He's is doing.  What He is about in my life.  In that I am beginning to see His awesome majesty!  The beauty of just how much He loves me and loves every one in my house.  It's amazing too what you see about yourself when you manage to be truly "still" and know that HE IS God! Love, Your not so quiet quiet one... :)

I am going through a women's study with some ladies at the church we've been attending.  The study is called "A Woman's Heart, God's Dwelling Place" by Beth Moore.  This is my first experience doing any of her studies.  I must say that she has been given some seriously POWERFUL insights into the word of God and a true gift to deliver those insights to your heart in a way that makes the word become more true and alive to you. Today, in our daily study, we looked at the period of time when God told Moses to have the people bring free will offerings before Him for the building of the tabernacle.  In Exodus 36:6-7, it says, "Then Moses gave an order and they sent this word throughout the camp: 'No man or woman is to make anything else as an offering for the sanctuary.' And so the people were restrained from bringing more, because what they already had was more than enough to do all the work."  I really became convicted with this.  Our country...

Yesterday, the kids and I had a lot of fun together!  Sunday evenings, I have been trying to do more fun things with them just because its about our only day of nothing to do but attend church!  So, yesterday, we made COOKIES!!!  The kids love chocolate chip cookies.  It's fun to watch them explore measurements and learn to make things on their own.  They really enjoyed it!  We did one other thing after we were done with the cookies but for today's entry it is top secret!!!  We made Papaw Stumps birthday present! :)  So, in a few days, I'll post some pictures and let you see just how much fun we had!  The older two (during little brothers nap) went out to play yesterday.  It was in the 50's and let me tell you, they are ready for spring to come!  They had so much fun running and playing in the back yard.  Hearing their giggles as I watched from the table/window just made my day!  Take time to enjoy today! ...

I have been reading a book written by Max Lucado.  As I am reading this book, I find so many nuggets of truth that God has already been speaking to me. Funny how God does that.  Kind of like he's saying "I REALLY really want you to get this!"  My big battle right now is my weight!  I like to eat... I don't eat a lot of junk but I do turn to food too often when I'm stressed or whatever... How many of you are stress eaters?  I'm sure guilty!  Well, we all know life is stressful! I've lost 50 lbs but I seem to be stuck there.  Yep!  Truly stuck.  So, God's been talking to me.  He's been reminding me that HE needs to be my only comfort.  Not people, not food, not anything other than HIM!  As I am reading this book, I just stopped in my tracks!  Mathew 4:4 says  Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” It gripped me! Right th...

Last night, as I was tucking the kids into bed, I was feeling frazzled and burned out because the day had been long.  The kids had been at each other, tempers were flairing between them and it just over all stunk.  I took Sister's Bible and sat down to read to them.  I read Psalm 1.  Some of the verses are as follows: vs. 1 "blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of the mockers." vs. 2 "But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night."  vs. 3 "He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers." If you'll recall with me, I just posted a bit ago about being a seed.  This has really opened my mind up to the fact that my life needs to be TOTALLY enveloped in Him and who HE is.  When I read these Bible verses last night, it took me by surprise that ...

It's funny the journey that life takes us on.  A couple of years ago, life was much different for me. God uses life circumstances to teach us and make us realize our own faults!  For instance, one thing I have continued to work with my daughter on (As you know, we homeschool) having a better attitude about school.  She gets grumpy and thinks it's "Stupid to learn this" or she gets fussy about "Why do I have to write that when I already know how..." Being this way brings down her entire day and well, it affects the quality of her work and the mood of all of us around her!  Philippians 2:14 says "Do everything without grumbling or arguing"  As I have been teaching her this, and let me tell you... it's been a battle, God has really shown me that I have this area in my life that needs work as well! My arear isn't my school work, obviously! However, one of my health issues requires my body to eat lower carbs in order to keep my levels normal...

    I bought a new CD last night and this song was on it.  It brought me a huge smile.  After my last post, God has continued to work in me.  I have begun realizing that I have a lot of damage in my heart that I didn't realize I hadn't dealt with.  I have had 12 or 13 years of woundings to uncover and face!  When Jeff and I met, we were in a real difficult situation.  God brought us through that together so that in the end, we could be married and live an amazing life together and have an awesome little family!    Both of us had pain that we had dealt with but hadn't ripped the bandage completely off before we moved on. I think we all do that.  We'll deal with a part of the problems we bare but we leave a bit untouched that we hang onto! That's the area of our heart that's ours, not Gods!  Ya know what I mean?   Then we went through some ministry situations that were painful.  More times of being let down b...

This past week, we had another bumpy road in life!  It's funny how God uses our trials to teach us and to grow us!  I am grateful for family membes who are there for us through thick and thin and never question what we need or how great the task!  I am grateful for friends who stand beside us and lift us up and encourage us!  This week, I have hit my all time low of not understanding life.  I got a text from a friend that God has always used as an instrument of speaking truth into my life since we were little girls playing together!  I don't think she realized the depth (Or maybe she did since she always seems to "get it") of what she was saying to me but this is the passage she sent... Psalm 27:13-14 "What would have become of me had I not believed to see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living!  Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage, and let your heart be stout and enduring. yes, wait and hope for and expect th...

Seems I have been struggling a lot lately. We have been through some difficult times in the last several months and this ball of fear continues to well up inside of me and questions of what the future will hold and what health is going to be like... This last week especially has been so hard.  I just want to cave to fear!  But I'm reminded by that gentle voice inside of me that there is no room for fear!  I was looking at scripture today and was reminded of this truth... "In my distress I prayed to the LORD, and the LORD answered me and set me free. The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me." Psalm 118:5-6 In the moments that fear begins to build in me, it's because I have forgotten the one thing I so desperately need to do!  I need to pray in my distress and then not just pray but I have to hold onto this scripture that is so awesome!  The LORD answered me!  I forget that sometimes. I think I pray so desperately and m...