Expectation....

When we were little, we had excited expectations!  We couldn't wait for our birthday party, we couldn't wait for the next sleep over, there were things across the board that we had excited expectations about!  We had our hopes up!  We expected that what was coming was going to be the best ever!

As adults, we lose some of that.  We are tainted by life and we have less and less "expectation" of things because we are often consumed by the details...

Lately, I have lost my expectation.  I don't often bring medical here to my blog, but I will today.  It's my reality right now and much of what I'm walking through.  Kind of why I have been a quiet blogger. 

Just last night, I sat at my kitchen table after an emotional evening.  Jeff (my husband) had just gotten home from work and I laid out my evening and my feelings through many tears.  He reminded me of something... he reminded me what we stand for.  What we believe.  He shook me so to speak and got me to snap out of it. He made the comment, your reality is what you dwell on! 

I have been so overwhelmed by the medical changes... the changes that feel like they are going the wrong way!  The changes that make me lose a little hope each day because it isn't what I'm praying for! I'm praying for healing! I'm praying for God to fix my kids!  I'm praying for God to touch their bodies and remove this path from them!  But instead, things have progressed.  News has been hard.  Life's been OVERWHELMING! 

So, I started my morning with God.  I looked for him.  I began my day with truth.  The truth... God loves my kids more than I ever could.  He loves me deeply.  He has a plan. He has a purpose! He is good!  He is able! 

Until I can dwell on those truths... until I can trust that He knows best... there is no expectations! I've lost my gusto... lost my reason for hope... lost all excitement...

He took me to Psalm 5 this morning.  Verse 3 part b says "...in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."

Anytime we have done fundraising or a walk, we have called ourselves "Team Pfohl (full) Of Hope".  As I read this scripture this morning I thought that this verse really should be our theme!  Hope is all about expectation!  It's all about believing there is more! Believing there is a future. There is better... So, this morning... I got my hope back.  I laid my requests before HIM and I WAIT IN EXPECETATION!!! Very very excited expectation!!!

Growing daily,
~Mommy Pfohl of Hope~


Comments

  1. EdithApril 20, 2013 at 6:53 AM

    2nd post I've read on hope this morning. Thanks for sharing. Appreciate your email updates as well.

    ReplyDelete

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