Journeys of one mom

                           We had our send off party today! She was so excited to meet with her volunteers today (Linda on the left, buddy and Abby of course in the middle, and Kelsey on the right!)  We had such a fun time today!  We can't wait to walk this journey!      We are so very excited!  Miss Abby's Make-A-Wish trip is just around the corner!  She can't wait to go!  Here are some pictures to share with you. :)  They sent her a Rocky doll from Shake it Up, a book for the flight and some really cool shades!  She wasn't overly thrilled about Mommy taking pictures!  :)        Today was her send off with her Wish Granting Volunteers.  She was so excited!  They brought her a cool frozen purse she can color and make up for when she goes!         They even found Gluten Free cupcakes and donuts! They tasted amazing!!!  That was awesome for her to have!! :) We will try to post some fun pictures along the way!

So, yesterday, I was doing one of my least favorite things... EVER!!! I was cleaning the boys room.  As I was cleaning, I kept finding little "Treasures".  Crumpled leaves they kept and said, "I'll call you leafy", papers they had drawn little pictures on of their favorite things, and even little toys/trinkets that most would consider trash or cheap and they cherish them dearly!!  As I was cleaning and finding these little treasures, I started to smile.  Each treasure held a memory that I knew the reason why they loved it and why they kept it... Then I got to thinking about the scripture verse "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." So, I'm thinking of this verse and I just stop

I was driving yesterday and I kept playing this song on repeat... I couldn't think of a song that fits more perfectly to my life right now... Faith has been the journey that God has had me on... teaching me to trust... teaching me to believe... teaching me to hold on when I feel like I can't... So, listening to this, there are so many words in here that I have felt deep inside... Starting out, "It's time for healing, Time to move on. It's time to fix what's been broken too long." I start my conviction there.  God has me in a place that he's forcing me to deal with some pretty painful thorns in my life.  This song says "There's a wave that's crashing over me..."  I've been wanting to fight this wave in my life so BADLY but it's true... "All I can do is surrender..." "Whatever you're doing inside of me, It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace. And it's hard to surrender to what I can&#

Sometimes, life throws changes at us we just don't know how to handle.  We want to react... but sometimes, we don't even (as humans in general) know how to react... We find ourselves at a loss... a blank spot in time... if we cry... we may break completely... if we laugh... we may not ever stop... if we scream.... we might not regain control... if we cover it up.... we may always stay numb.... In those moments, where do we turn?  What do we do? What do we say?  I've been asking those questions a lot lately... I've been living... looking at my own reality.  Hurting watching my kids suffer with an illness that seems invisible but has the strength of a bulldozer to wipe your feet from under... watching my own body change in ways that frightens me! Then as I attempt to cope with my own health changes and continue to help them, my family...  but try to find that balance to maintain my own health so I can be the best mom and wife I can be.... it becomes a muddled mess o

Yesterday, I sat in church with my emotions running high... it's been a LONG month around here.  Between changes in JJ's GI, DRASTIC changes in Abby's care and our future understanding for her, Joey battling fatigue like crazy, and then everything with the van... It's just felt like non stop here with everything.  I have to admitt, I have wrestled MUCH with God... asking lots of why questions, stating lots of "I just don't get it" statements, and even feeling lost in the mix of everything uncertain of "what's next".  With all of this, I told Jeff the other night, we need to look for the blessings... the little things that are God's subtle reminders... HE IS!  He is taking care of us, he is providing, he is there for our every need!  So, as I sit in church, God is just hitting me with all of this... about trusting... about believing... then this song comes on... Music speaks more to me than any sermon.  I have always found a deep conne

I don't know how it is at your house, but here it gets pretty crazy!  We have lots going on between doctoring, therapies, medical stuff at home, 4-H clubs, family gatherings, homeschool, and THEN you add on normal every day life.  One thing we are striving to instill in our kids is how to conserve our spoons.  (Spoons represent the energy we have to spend... Google the "spoon theory" to better understand!) One way of conserving is finding ways to manage the chaos!  Setting a schedule, making goals, having lists that are defined what need done this day to prepare for another day! I have become very OCD about checklists and calendars.  I know for me, I spend my spoons fast when I'm not prepared.  What happens when your not prepared?  You manage to race around as fast as you possibly can and your scrambling to find everything you need, put together what has to go with you and then you get there and realize half of what you need... well, it's M.I.A.!!  Most rece

I haven't been a great blogger here as of late... I think some of it is because I'm tired of posting the medical.  But in all reality, that's where my life is right now and to be honest, I'm struggling in it.  So, my blog is called "journeys of one mom"... so join my journey right now! This morning I got up and started to read the Bible.  I have been really wrestling with anger lately.  Anger about what my kids are going through, anger about my own health because I want to be and do everything for my kids and lighten the load/burden my husband carries so selflessly everyday with out ever complaining!  That anger has brought me down.  It's lowered my moral, it's lowered my opinions and it's drug my moods right through the dirt!  Ever been there?  I guess you could say I have been in a pit.  As I opened my Bible today, I came to Jeremiah.  I love the book of Jeremiah! But in Chapter 10 Verse 23 it says, "I know, O Lord, that a man's li

I don't know about you, but my kids are really into frozen right now.  I hear the songs over and over.  I hear them quoting the movie and I have to admit, if the movie isn't turned on at least once a day, I fear something is INCREDIBLY wrong within my home!  Today, I was feeling quite thoughtful!  I get that way often and I usually don't voice my thoughts outside of the realms of my home as much as I'd like!  I know... SHOCKING! I have lots more to say than I really say! My thoughts here lately have been jumbled with LOADS of emotions... I heard someone sharing the other day how special needs families... families living with chronic illness often begin to feel secluded.  They see their friends pull back... for many reasons! Sometimes it's because they're overwhelmed, sometimes because they don't understand, sometimes because they can't deal with trying to work around all the "needs" you have to accommodate just to walk out of your door...

Here lately, I have been wrestling with a lot of things within myself.  Questions... Questions some times get me in trouble, do you know what I mean? This morning I got up and I had my Bible out reading.  I normally don't do the drop and read thing where you just let your Bible fall open and start reading... but I did today.  I read in 2 Chronicles.  I know I know!  Crazy right?  Well, as I was reading I just stopped... this is what popped out to me... "...The Lord is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you."   This made me stop and ponder for a moment... Have you ever heard people say or even asked yourself "Where is God when I need him?"  Yes, I have been known to ask that question.  In a moment of sheer fear or furry... Really depends what mood suited me at the moment!   Reading this today makes me stop and be reminded, God wants each of us to want him.  He isn't