Blessings...

Yesterday, I sat in church with my emotions running high... it's been a LONG month around here.  Between changes in JJ's GI, DRASTIC changes in Abby's care and our future understanding for her, Joey battling fatigue like crazy, and then everything with the van... It's just felt like non stop here with everything. 

I have to admitt, I have wrestled MUCH with God... asking lots of why questions, stating lots of "I just don't get it" statements, and even feeling lost in the mix of everything uncertain of "what's next".  With all of this, I told Jeff the other night, we need to look for the blessings... the little things that are God's subtle reminders... HE IS!  He is taking care of us, he is providing, he is there for our every need! 

So, as I sit in church, God is just hitting me with all of this... about trusting... about believing... then this song comes on... Music speaks more to me than any sermon.  I have always found a deep connection with God and His presence through worship and song... So this song is playing and it says "My heart will sing no other name... Jesus Jesus" and I realize that at that point, it's a total place of surrender!  A place of letting go and letting God take control... I just need to TRUST....

Here's the song...
 
 
 
So, after this song is done playing, I'm totally in tears and I am standing with God... I'm realizing just what he HAS done.  The trouble is that some times, we can focus on what feels like he hasn't done! The pains of life and the things that are uncertain.  I have totally done what the song said... I have run to his arms!  At that moment, NOTHING could compare to His embrace...
 
Finally, I have myself collected... and our pastor opens up to Luke18.  Jesus is trying to teach his disciples that they should always pray and not give up... At this point, I feel I am looking God in the eyes again and we are having this discussion.... Our lives, our journey with Mito, our every decision in life has ALWAYS been based on one thing... PRAYER.  We have always prayed and never given up.  God has brought us through incredible hardships and pain because of prayer and because we held tight to his feet when we had no strength to stand...
 
God hasn't healed us yet... but he's given us glimpses that HE IS who He says He is!  He has shown us He is working and has HIS hand on our lives.  Whether it be someone slipping us some money, unknowing of the real need, or someone buying a sketch book for Abby, or JJ pedaling his trike out of no where, or Joey getting to do that one thing he's been wanting to do... God is there... and that's where we should focus... not on the big questions... but on the small whispers when God says I LOVE YOU CHILD! 
 
Thanks Papa!  Thanks for loving me in spite of every thing I am and every way I fail you!  I love you too!  
 



Comments

  1. EdithSeptember 29, 2014 at 2:25 PM

    Thanks for sharing. And I'm sure you've said somewhere -but how old is Abbey?

    ReplyDelete

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