Journeys of one mom

I am reading the Bible tonight trying to put together something on my heart.  As I do, I'm sitting here and I have so much emotion welling up in me.  The question of, "Who is this Jesus" is something I have been feeling I'm to research and write some lessons on.  As I'm diving into it, my heart is being torn in so many ways myself. My first lesson in this series of lessons is that of the Shepherd.  Jesus is our Shepherd.  John 10:11-15 says, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.  The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away.  Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it.  The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.  I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father - and I lay down my life for the sheep." As I read this, I t...

My life has taken a sudden change... everything I once knew... it feels I no longer know.  I was admitted 2 1/2 weeks ago because of my aspiration issues and a Peg tube (feeding tube) was placed in my abdomen.  I went in with the understanding this was going to be supplemental... and I came out learning this was it... This was my sole nutrition.... The words NPO indefinitely were written in bold letters across the note from my surgeon and team of doctors (NPO meaning... nothing by mouth).  You don't realize how big that word Indefinite is... until it's placed on something major in your life.  This has been a hard road.  I have put on my bravest most strongest face I can... but there are moments... daily moments... I find myself broken... I feel so much better now with my health that it makes it all worthwhile but for me... for many... food is social!  We get together and we eat.... we have parties and we eat... we have victories and we eat... we go on dat...

We got to go to church today.  We haven't been in MONTHS!  It's super hard to pack us up and go places and the weekends are when we are wiped because we have been on the go like crazy through the week with appointments, my therapies, school, etc.  But I was blessed to be there today.  For those needing a church, especially if you have special needs in your home, Whosoever ministries in Fountain City is a fantastic church home. It starts at 2 p.m. on Sundays and 7 p.m. on Tuesdays. Now... back to where I was.  Today, Denver (the pastor) was talking about final words and listening to people to get a better understanding of who they really are.  It got me to really thinking!  So many times, I wonder what people hear from me when they listen... then it made me think... our words are a powerful thing in our lives!  Words can bring hope... words can dash hope!  Words can bring joy but equally bring sorry.  Words can build up or tear down... ...

What do you do when life comes to a screeching halt? How do you focus and how do you handle it when everything flies at you at once?  It seems that is the way of life all together right now for me in my little world.  One thing right after the other... leaves you at a place of questions... makes you feel you've been knocked down... Leaves you to ask... why God? Jeff (my husband) and I were talking just the other day how many people look at Christianity so differently.  The reality is... God never ever once promised that life as a Christian would be easy! NOPE!  He never promised there would be butterflies and roses and rainbows everywhere... but instead... he said there will be hard times... there will be suffering... their will be persecution... there will be struggles... But even in the midst of all of that He did promise hope! He did promise to carry our burden! He did promise to be there in every moment of every joy and every sorrow! For me... yesterday was m...

Chronic illness changes everything... it changes your outlook, your feelings, your desires, it changes the way you view life... it changes your perspective... In Ecclesiastes 3 it says, "There is an appointed time for everything. A nd there is a time for every event under heaven— 2  A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. 3  A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. 4  A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance...." Today as I spoke with two very special friends... two people I adore and look up to who also fight the life of chronic illness... It dawned on me... there is a time for everything in our lives!  It sucks (and yep... we say sucks because that is the healthiest most innocent word we can use and every other word would be much worse for what we battle)... but it sucks to face the realities some times.  It sucks to see the ...

Life holds so many... and I mean VERY MANY... paths for us to choose.  I have been wrestling with my latest path because it's hard for me to make the choice.  Have you had that moment that you have laid there wrestling with a thought and your heart races from anxiousness of knowing what you're supposed to do?  Yeah... Yep... that's kind of where I am at. In the past, I have avoided medical on this blog... but my journey of this one mom... it's changed in the last year.  I've walked through so many emotions... Anger... the question why... the how... the survival shut down of numbness... to joy... to Anger... to fear.... to hurting deep inside... to learning to accept a new path. I sit here realizing that my journey is changing... and in that change... I'm going to try to share more here because it helps me to grow and to see truth when I put things into words and I share with you because writing is my outlet!  So, I welcome you aboard to join me if you'd li...

Have you ever looked at those search and find books?  Things like "Where's Waldo" or the hundreds of other books they have like this.  Man! They make my head hurt looking through the pages and pages of pictures with my kids.  Have you ever thought about your walk with God?  Many call it a religion... but really... it's a relationship.  Have you ever stopped to think that people are watching... That your life is like a page of the "Where's Waldo" book... Maybe Waldo is God in your life... or maybe Waldo is finding that small truth to say you are what or who you say you are!  The world stands back watching and wondering and looking.  Doubt creeps in as you try to share the gospel and people question you and question why you say you are this God following person. We all know that words hold very little meaning when ACTIONS do not show it.  Someone says they're a Christian, someone says they go to church, or someone says they're "in ministry...

Have you ever felt that nudge of the Holy Spirit? The urge telling you to do something... OH boy! I have.  I remember growing up with my parents doing children's ministry on the road.  Over and over... God would speak to me.  God would tell me something to say to someone... at points, the reaction around me was *gasp* but then you'd begin to see God work.  I remember a time we were eating in a restaurant and God gave me something to say to these two men eating together... I bravely walked up to them and would say what God put on my heart... with out fail... each time this happened... you could see the wave of emotion... you could feel God working... I'd walk away feeling strong and proud that again... GOD had chosen me.... Today, I'm reading the Bible. Sometimes what God asks of us isn't easy.  Sometimes it is we, as Christians, who *gasp* saying, "God, are you nuts?  Are you trying to get me killed?  Or make everyone hate me?"  I've had those m...