Rough patches...
What do you do when life comes to a screeching halt? How do you focus and how do you handle it when everything flies at you at once? It seems that is the way of life all together right now for me in my little world. One thing right after the other... leaves you at a place of questions... makes you feel you've been knocked down... Leaves you to ask... why God?
Jeff (my husband) and I were talking just the other day how many people look at Christianity so differently. The reality is... God never ever once promised that life as a Christian would be easy! NOPE! He never promised there would be butterflies and roses and rainbows everywhere... but instead... he said there will be hard times... there will be suffering... their will be persecution... there will be struggles... But even in the midst of all of that He did promise hope! He did promise to carry our burden! He did promise to be there in every moment of every joy and every sorrow!
For me... yesterday was my bad day. I sat in my speech therapy session and I listened to my therapist tell me she is sure I'm aspirating but the question is... how often and how much. We are moving me to more puree type foods and soft solids because I choke on the meat and the things that are harder to move about in my mouth safely. She said there is likely no fixing this because this disease is progressive BUT we can hope to teach me skills to help cope with the change and manage what is going on with me. I wanted to crumble yesterday. I came home from therapy to look on Pinterest for ideas and ways to manage this and still get proper nutrition and I sat with tears running down my face... wondering why me and my kids have to deal with this. Wondering why my husband has to hurt watching us change... watching us fight but still lose ground... But today... today I turn to faith. I cling to hope that this is all for a purpose.
Sometimes, it's easy to drown in life... it's easy to look at the problem and the failures and the heart breaks... but it's hard to look at the creator... the papa God! The one who's there for us. In each and every aspect of life... he has a plan! Can he heal? Of course he can! But it might not be in the plan! Can he turn things around and help us to improve? Most certainly he can! But sometimes... God chooses to let us walk though the suffering and then do the ultimate... BE THERE for us in ways no one ever could!
So, today, I try to refocus. What does God ask of me today? What am I supposed to do in this moment? I don't have the energy to go out into the world and preach the gospel. I don't have the strength to go help rebuild homes and help people. I don't have the voice to make phones calls and pray for people or encourage them... the list could go on... BUT what I do have... I have a light inside of me that I could snuff out with bitterness, with anger, with fear, or any other negative reaction... Or I could look for hope in this moment. I have a chance to let my light shine in dark places. I can shine in places where people are hurt, angry, scared, or let down... I can shine a light to other patients around me and help them find hope! I can shine a light to the doctors, the nurses, the caretakers, the therapists, or whomever... I have a chance to be a witness in a unique setting.
NOT the choice I'd make... but it's what I'm doing because it's where I am in life! In 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 it says this....
Jeff (my husband) and I were talking just the other day how many people look at Christianity so differently. The reality is... God never ever once promised that life as a Christian would be easy! NOPE! He never promised there would be butterflies and roses and rainbows everywhere... but instead... he said there will be hard times... there will be suffering... their will be persecution... there will be struggles... But even in the midst of all of that He did promise hope! He did promise to carry our burden! He did promise to be there in every moment of every joy and every sorrow!
For me... yesterday was my bad day. I sat in my speech therapy session and I listened to my therapist tell me she is sure I'm aspirating but the question is... how often and how much. We are moving me to more puree type foods and soft solids because I choke on the meat and the things that are harder to move about in my mouth safely. She said there is likely no fixing this because this disease is progressive BUT we can hope to teach me skills to help cope with the change and manage what is going on with me. I wanted to crumble yesterday. I came home from therapy to look on Pinterest for ideas and ways to manage this and still get proper nutrition and I sat with tears running down my face... wondering why me and my kids have to deal with this. Wondering why my husband has to hurt watching us change... watching us fight but still lose ground... But today... today I turn to faith. I cling to hope that this is all for a purpose.
Sometimes, it's easy to drown in life... it's easy to look at the problem and the failures and the heart breaks... but it's hard to look at the creator... the papa God! The one who's there for us. In each and every aspect of life... he has a plan! Can he heal? Of course he can! But it might not be in the plan! Can he turn things around and help us to improve? Most certainly he can! But sometimes... God chooses to let us walk though the suffering and then do the ultimate... BE THERE for us in ways no one ever could!
So, today, I try to refocus. What does God ask of me today? What am I supposed to do in this moment? I don't have the energy to go out into the world and preach the gospel. I don't have the strength to go help rebuild homes and help people. I don't have the voice to make phones calls and pray for people or encourage them... the list could go on... BUT what I do have... I have a light inside of me that I could snuff out with bitterness, with anger, with fear, or any other negative reaction... Or I could look for hope in this moment. I have a chance to let my light shine in dark places. I can shine in places where people are hurt, angry, scared, or let down... I can shine a light to other patients around me and help them find hope! I can shine a light to the doctors, the nurses, the caretakers, the therapists, or whomever... I have a chance to be a witness in a unique setting.
NOT the choice I'd make... but it's what I'm doing because it's where I am in life! In 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 it says this....
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.
It takes all kinds... it takes people of all experiences... So.... the God of comfort... the God mercy... he's there.. He's there for me... in my darkest hour... in my hardest times... HE BRINGS COMFORT! and for you! He's there for you! in your darkest hour! in your hardest times! HE BRINGS COMFORT! He's there for those around you and the light within me... the light within you... can shine in the lives of those who are in any affliction!
Think of it this way... It's really HARD to hear someone say "Oh, yeah, I get what you're going through..." when they have never experienced it... when they've never walked a day in your shoes! Someone in that place isn't as apt to reach out to you! They aren't as apt to bring comfort because they truly have no idea what you are dealing with. But someone who has gone through what you are going through. Someone who has experienced your pain... your fears... your agony... and you bring them a light in their darkness... they're going to be able to hear you... respond to you... and react to the care in your heart because they know you've been there and done that! So... what'll it be? I don't want to live a life of question or fear... I want to live a life of trust and hope and I want my life... and my sufferings if I must walk through them... I want those sufferings to be something that can change someone's life... I want to bring them hope too them and allow them to know that God cares! That God hasn't abandoned them!
So... the journey of this one mom... let my light so shine to bring hope!
Comments
Post a Comment