Bearing A Heavy Title....

Today as I was listening to my worship station, this song, "Fear Is a Liar" came on and it really stopped me for a moment as I truly listened.  The fear of the titles we bear often is the liar that drags us down....

Sometimes, the titles that people don't think of are the titles that many bear on a daily basis. You often think about titles just as jobs that we hold.  Positions of power... but we all have titles in our lives... some titles are heavier than the title of any highest power you could hold... it is often a title that we  bear completely alone.  Titles like "Special needs, spoony, terminal, chronic, incurable, progressive..." The list could go on!  Yes... medical titles cause fear!  They hold us back, they tell us we can't be what we always dreamt or wanted... they crush us... but God has a plan beyond that title.  God says in Jeremiah 29:11 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

When you read this, what does it say?  Does it say that your disease is meant to destroy you?  Does it say that God has come and thrown things on you to harm you? Absolutely not!  

I listen to the first few phrases of this song.... 

When he told you you're not good enough

When he told you you're not right

When he told you you're not strong enough

To put up a good fight

When he told you you're not worthy

When he told you you're not loved

When he told you you're not beautiful

You'll never be enough

Have you ever heard any of those in your mind? In the dark moments alone? Sitting in a doctors office? Riding home in the car after more bad news? Hung up the phone hearing that you are adding another treatment? Ever tried to do something and couldn't and told yourself one of these? 

We all battle these... healthy or not.... we have titles that we fear... we have titles that make us feel less than the best... But let me ask you... In that moment when you feel you aren't enough, when you feel unworthy, unloved, in that moment when beautiful is the farthest thought and ugly creeps in.... Do you stop to ever look through God's eyes?  Do you ever see what he sees?  You know what a title gives us?  The world sees it that it gives us a place of position but in God's eyes the only title we have is chosen... chosen as his own!   

I remember one day that my daughter was painting on her wall (and yes... she actually had permission... life is short! Live it up!) She painted "Mito Princess".  When I saw it... My heart sank. I wanted to grab her and cry and tell her no!  You aren't a Mito princess! Mito is a disease and it doesn't own you.  But then I realized, she wasn't writing it that it owns her.  She sees herself as beautiful and a princess in spite of the disease that she fights and battles.  It's a part of her life. It does make up a portion of who she is but it isn't WHO she is.... She is an amazing beautiful princess who is fighting the disease in the bravest most possible way she can.  At this point in life, she was making pictures for people. Every time she had a test, a blood draw, had to see a doctor... she would try to have a picture drawn and ready and she would take it to them.  It would light their world.  At times, these pictures were received with tears being held back because it blessed them so much coming from her. She was finding a way to be a light in something that was very very hard! 

I remember around this time, she had been very sick and in the hospital.  When she came home, she didn't have the strength to walk far yet and wore out very quickly.  So, she went to Sunday school class in her wheel chair.  The teacher in that class prayed, "God help her be healed so she can get out of her chair and be used by you."  This is where titles bring fear.  We fear that if we are sick, disabled, chronic, terminal.... any of the above of what you live through or fight.... we aren't of worth. That day it was spoken over her that God couldn't use her from a wheel chair.  It was put in her mind that she wasn't enough.  

The lies we face....   God couldn't use me! God couldn't want me!  No one could! Right? WRONG!!!!!  This is where fear is a liar!  God was using that child in that chair.  He was using her to bring light to peoples world.  He was using her to be Jesus to people that an average person would never come in contact with.  She had a special opportunity!  She took it!  She saw herself as a mito princess because she saw herself as something beautiful that God could use.  She didn't see a terminal patient with muscle disease going through a tough time.... She didn't see her title... She saw what God saw.  She looked through his eyes!

You, me, and everyone around us.... we are worthy of his love because he chose us! No title matters! No diagnosis matters! No thing that we have or done could ever keep us from his love!  We are beautiful and loved and worthy! So, fight the lie!  Let yourself see through his eyes! Let yourself see you as that princess or the prince and pick up the fight!