Journeys of one mom

                           We had our send off party today! She was so excited to meet with her volunteers today (Linda on the left, buddy and Abby of course in the middle, and Kelsey on the right!)  We had such a fun time today!  We can't wait to walk this journey!      We are so very excited!  Miss Abby's Make-A-Wish trip is just around the corner!  She can't wait to go!  Here are some pictures to share with you. :)  They sent her a Rocky doll from Shake it Up, a book for the flight and some really cool shades!  She wasn't overly thrilled about Mommy taking pictures!  :)        Today was her send off with her Wish Granting Volunteers.  She was so excited!  They brought her a cool frozen purse she can color and make up for when she goes!...

So, yesterday, I was doing one of my least favorite things... EVER!!! I was cleaning the boys room.  As I was cleaning, I kept finding little "Treasures".  Crumpled leaves they kept and said, "I'll call you leafy", papers they had drawn little pictures on of their favorite things, and even little toys/trinkets that most would consider trash or cheap and they cherish them dearly!!  As I was cleaning and finding these little treasures, I started to smile.  Each treasure held a memory that I knew the reason why they loved it and why they kept it... Then I got to thinking about the scripture verse "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." So, I'm thinking of this verse and I just stop...

I was driving yesterday and I kept playing this song on repeat... I couldn't think of a song that fits more perfectly to my life right now... Faith has been the journey that God has had me on... teaching me to trust... teaching me to believe... teaching me to hold on when I feel like I can't... So, listening to this, there are so many words in here that I have felt deep inside... Starting out, "It's time for healing, Time to move on. It's time to fix what's been broken too long." I start my conviction there.  God has me in a place that he's forcing me to deal with some pretty painful thorns in my life.  This song says "There's a wave that's crashing over me..."  I've been wanting to fight this wave in my life so BADLY but it's true... "All I can do is surrender..." "Whatever you're doing inside of me, It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace. And it's hard to surrender to what I can...

Sometimes, life throws changes at us we just don't know how to handle.  We want to react... but sometimes, we don't even (as humans in general) know how to react... We find ourselves at a loss... a blank spot in time... if we cry... we may break completely... if we laugh... we may not ever stop... if we scream.... we might not regain control... if we cover it up.... we may always stay numb.... In those moments, where do we turn?  What do we do? What do we say?  I've been asking those questions a lot lately... I've been living... looking at my own reality.  Hurting watching my kids suffer with an illness that seems invisible but has the strength of a bulldozer to wipe your feet from under... watching my own body change in ways that frightens me! Then as I attempt to cope with my own health changes and continue to help them, my family...  but try to find that balance to maintain my own health so I can be the best mom and wife I can be.... it b...