Journeys of one mom

When we were little, we had excited expectations!  We couldn't wait for our birthday party, we couldn't wait for the next sleep over, there were things across the board that we had excited expectations about!  We had our hopes up!  We expected that what was coming was going to be the best ever! As adults, we lose some of that.  We are tainted by life and we have less and less "expectation" of things because we are often consumed by the details... Lately, I have lost my expectation.  I don't often bring medical here to my blog, but I will today.  It's my reality right now and much of what I'm walking through.  Kind of why I have been a quiet blogger.  Just last night, I sat at my kitchen table after an emotional evening.  Jeff (my husband) had just gotten home from work and I laid out my evening and my feelings through many tears.  He reminded me of something... he reminded me what we stand for.  What we believe.  He shook...

Sunday, I took sister to church.  The boys just weren't ready plus daddy had to work.  So, he kept them home.  I was reluctant to go because I have just had so much "stuff" going on inside of me.  I walk into worship service and I have an asthma flair that made me have to leave.  Finally get it settled and I go back in to worship.  I couldn't sing but I just stood there with my eyes closed. Kind of goes along with the "shhh" moment I have felt God telling me!  I had to be quiet.  This song, "I need you more" was being sung by the worship team and I just felt this flood of God's presence as I cried out the words in my heart!  I do need him more.  More than ever before!  This life has brought so much hard junk and heart ache in the last month or two that I just have felt as though I was drowning.  When you let go of the baggage, you begin to float... as you float, you can see the light above you!  The water's deep right ...